Pete Ricketts

Giblets to go

Lex Luthor redefines “Nebraska Nice”

Nebraska’s new governor has been so busy shopping for drugs to kill prisoners on death row that he failed to notice when the state’s legislature — controlled by his own Republican Party by 35 to 14 — voted to abolish the death penalty in the Cornhusker State. He was so angered that he also failed to note his conservative colleagues argument that it is illogical to be pro-life for some issues and pro-death on others. In this peevish mood, Governor Ricketts has vowed to kill all ten prisoners on Nebraska’s death row. His Attorney General, Doug Peterson, backs him up, saying that abolishing the death penalty has basically deprived the death row inmates of their constitutional right to die. If Ricketts gets his way, perhaps he can give the ten inmates their last supper at the same time. He can haul the old, unused, electric chair — “Old Sparky” — out of retirement, hook the electrodes to a large turkey, pull the switch and allow it to explode — instantly serving white meat, dark meat and viscera to all the guests in their festive orange attire.


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