Monthly Archives: January 2012

Captain Francesco Schettino

 Already dubbed “Chicken of the Sea,” Captain Francesco Schettino believes in the phrase “Women and Children last,” when it comes to disasters at sea. This is particularly true when he causes the disaster in the first place. Francesco took the … Continue reading

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Chuck “Eat Me” Smith

A former master chef at the Federal Prison in Atlanta, Chuck now owns and operates a diner in Skunk Water, Mississippi.  He surreptitiously spits in the food of anyone he thinks is a “fag.” During his prison years Chuck was … Continue reading

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Dr. Leopold Kanger, DDS

While modern dentistry is painless and progressive, this 92-year-old practioner refuses to use Novocain yet still attracts loyal customers who actually enjoy “a little discomfort.” Dr. Kanger modernized his operation in 1989, replacing the foot-treadle tooth drill with a more … Continue reading

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Dick Widdafoan

  Dick is the guy who strolls down the street talking loudly – apparently to himself – until you see the cell phone attached to the side of his head. This jerk apparently thinks everyone should know everything going on … Continue reading

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