Edith is a third grade teacher in Des Moines, Iowa, who delights in denying restroom passage to small, weak, male students in order to watch dark stains form on their corduroys. She positively glows while frog-marching gum-chewing, tearful students to the principal’s office. She makes sure treats brought from home are placed on the classroom radiator to insure spoilage before they are shared. A boon to future prison guards and interrogation experts, she reeks disdain for independent thought and dissenting points of view. Her grandfather was a member of Benito Mussolini‘s personal staff.